I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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