I wannas sexs uuuuu
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
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