My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
