I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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