her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize