Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
