He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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