he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
