whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
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