Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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