whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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