what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I just cut my nipple shaving
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
