Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
