My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
