What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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