She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I need a burrito and a hug.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize