my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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