He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
