I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
