Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
