Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
My breasts were aching with rage.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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