I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
He? As in you personified your dick?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
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