my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
