ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
