Just fell off a train. Bad.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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