I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
