I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
