I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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