I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
