No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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