If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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