i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize