Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
should my penis look like a turkey
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Randomize