my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize