When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize