Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
