Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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