I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
