she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
