Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize