I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize