I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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