She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
