I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
