Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
