I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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