we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
