I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Found your dick twin last night
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
