You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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