Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
