no. you can't hotbox the world.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
