Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
