So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
