If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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