ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
