Are we in a gay sports bar?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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