she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Someone signed my nipple.
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