i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
